In this episode we listen to Molly’s Story: how she found out she was alloimmunized, the steps that she took to maintain appropriate care, the pregnancies and births of her two subsequent sons, and its effect on her life and that of her family.
In this episode of the Allo Podcast we listen to Molly’s Story: how she found out she was alloimmunized, the steps that she took to maintain appropriate care, the pregnancies and births of her two subsequent sons, and its effect on her life and that of her family.
Episode themes:
Allo Hope Terminology Library https://allohopefoundation.org/library/terminology/
Explanation of Weak D and Partial D and its implications for pregnancy: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjh.12275
Research for this episode provided by Bethany Weathersby and Molly Sherwood of the Allo Hope Foundation. Find more information at https://allohopefoundation.org
The Allo Podcast is produced and edited by
Bethany Weathersby:
The information shared on The Allo Podcast is not intended as medical advice.
Molly Sherwood:
Your medical care decision should be made in consultation with your physician who is familiar with your specific case.
Bethany Weathersby:
Hi, welcome to The Allo Podcast from the Allo Hope Foundation. I'm Bethany Weathersby.
Molly Sherwood:
And I'm Molly Sherwood.
Bethany Weathersby:
Today, we get to interview you, Molly.
Molly Sherwood:
Yes.
Bethany Weathersby:
I'm so excited. We get to hear your full story from Molly the patient. How do you feel about sharing your story today?
Molly Sherwood:
I feel weirdly nervous, because I'm realizing... There's a couple reasons. Firstly, I have not done the work that I probably should be doing in openly sharing my story. I don't think I've ever shared my story top to bottom, firstly. But also, I'm always caught up with feeling like I need to acknowledge how lucky I am that my two Allo sons are completely healthy and I don't ever want to take away from somebody else's story like yours by... I don't know. I just don't want to ever invalidate another story that may arguably be more, who knows, eventful, devastating.
Molly Sherwood:
I've kind of waffled about whether or not to share because I want to allow space for women with stories like yours, but I also think that maybe sharing and just being honest about the emotions that I went through can help validate other women to say that it's okay to feel however you want to feel going through your pregnancies, whether they require intervention or not.
Bethany Weathersby:
Absolutely. Your story is difficult for you because you went through it and everyone has their own story and their own traumas. Regardless of where that is on the scale, they're still relevant and valid and really impact us. I mean, obviously I can hear the emotion. Just because you needed less intervention doesn't mean that it was less traumatic for you.
Molly Sherwood:
Thank you. That is so nice for you to say.
Bethany Weathersby:
It's true. It's true. And also mom guilt. I think we all have it. I felt guilty leaving after... Anyway, it's not about me, but I just remember feeling guilty leaving the hospital with a living baby.
Molly Sherwood:
No, I feel that way often. I mean, I'm like, wow. I don't know. But anyway, so I decided the goal today is I'm just going to share my feelings as they came. Hopefully other women, if they have a low intervention pregnancy or even not, it's just permission to just feel their own cycle of emotions throughout their journey.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes. I'm so excited to hear your story, and I hope that after this you will be telling it more often.
Molly Sherwood:
I hope so too. This will be healing for me, I think.
Bethany Weathersby:
And also, one more thing, just that more women I think will relate to your story than an extreme version like mine, because it's more common.
Molly Sherwood:
True.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's the more typical way that these pregnancies do play out. I'm really excited that you're sharing.
Molly Sherwood:
Thank you. Me too. I also want to try to tuck in, you can help remind me, but I want to tuck in exact details on how we went about some of the standard protocols that are needed for this pregnancy, like how did I get my husband's antigen status checked, because that's a question we see a lot. I'll just try to be really thoughtful about sharing those how-to's and kind of what to expect in those more typical processes.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes, for sure. That's super helpful. Let's just start going back to before you had kids. Did you always want to be a mom? And if you did, did you think about how many kids you might want when you're older?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. I kind of always had a little bit of a maternal role as a kid with my little brother, who was much younger than me, and I always just wanted to be a mom. Before I even ever wanted to be married, I was fantasizing about being a mom rather than fantasizing about my wedding. You know what I mean? I just knew I wanted that. I got it in my head that I wanted four kids. I also thought I could definitely plan to have three boys and then one girl at the end. That was totally in my control, of course, right?
Bethany Weathersby:
Well, maybe it'll happen.
Molly Sherwood:
Oh gosh!
Bethany Weathersby:
You have the three boys.
Molly Sherwood:
I do. Now I have three boys. That is sort of at least in some ways coming to fruition.
Bethany Weathersby:
Just plan to make a girl next since you have control like that.
Molly Sherwood:
Exactly.
Bethany Weathersby:
Now you're married and you have your first baby, but the antibody situation did not play into that first pregnancy, right?
Molly Sherwood:
Right. I was not sensitized during my first full pregnancy. I actually first had a pregnancy soon after my husband and I got married. I wanted to try. We wanted to try. We were ready. I got pregnant pretty quickly, which was such a relief to me, because I just had always had this suspicion that I would have fertility problems. My mother had fertility problems, and I was actually conceived through IVF, in vitro fertilization.
Bethany Weathersby:
I did not know that, Molly.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. It's so cool.
Bethany Weathersby:
You were probably one of the first, I guess, generation to be conceived that way.
Molly Sherwood:
I was. Actually in the hospital where I was conceived I guess, there's a framed photo of the first 100 babies that they ever did or made. Apparently baby me is in that photo.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing. How cool.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. That is so cool. I've always been so proud of my mom for her journey going through that with her own fertility struggles. She's always been very, very aware of my respective journey too. But anyway, I kind of wondered if I would have the same issue. Fortunately, I didn't. I got pregnant after just a few months of trying. I had this bad feeling about it though from the beginning of the pregnancy for whatever reason. I just had a gut feeling. I couldn't really believe that this was going to end with a live baby. I went to the doctor couple times for ultrasounds and we saw two babies. There were two sacks together. We never saw a heartbeat though.
Molly Sherwood:
They were just there. We kept checking for several weeks. Eventually around nine weeks, we determined that the pregnancy was not viable, but I wasn't naturally ending the pregnancy. My body wasn't letting it go. That was a really, really hard time, especially being my first pregnancy. I just felt this fear that I would never have children. After going through that, I went through a period where I could not look at another baby, couldn't go on social media, couldn't go to the movie theater because there were kids there. Oh, it was terrible because I didn't know.
Bethany Weathersby:
I'm so sorry.
Molly Sherwood:
I know it's common I think for women in our scenario too after going through any loss, of course. It's sort of a type of grief that you go through. But we decided after a few months we were ready to try again, and I did get pregnant again. So fortunately that that happened, and that was with my first son. He's now five. His name is Ronan. And that pregnancy was largely uneventful. So funny though, because I was still very stressed that pregnancy.
Bethany Weathersby:
I was going to say, did you feel that bad feeling, or did you think there's no way this could end with a live baby?
Molly Sherwood:
It's so interesting. This could just be totally happenstance. I don't know. But with the first pregnancy, I had really morbid, terrible dreams of the baby during that one month period where we didn't know what was going on. And with my subsequent pregnancies, I never had those dreams. I don't know. For some reason, I just felt a little bit better about them. That was even true in my last pregnancy, which I'll talk about eventually, where I was told certainly that he was gone and I just felt in my heart he wasn't gone.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing. The mother's intuition is truly incredible.
Molly Sherwood:
It really is. I do think there's something very valid to that and it's worth trusting and respecting in any woman who just has a feeling. Let's see. With my first full term pregnancy, that was with my son, Ronan. I didn't have antibodies at that time, but he was breach. He was stuck head up and his head was always getting crushed under my ribs. I remember it was so uncomfortable to sit down because I was crunching his head.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh no!
Molly Sherwood:
We decided to try an external cephalic version. They call it an ECV. It's that thing where the doctor literally just grabs your tummy and squish the baby around and tries to flip the baby back down. Because I knew that if I didn't try this, I was going to have to have a C-section. And being my first pregnancy or my first term pregnancy, I just had this fantasy of what my birth would be. I really wanted a vaginal birth. I said, "Okay, I'm going to try this ECV," and we tried it and it was more painful than actual labor to be honest.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's terrible. It sounds horrible.
Molly Sherwood:
It was terrible. But I will say, now listening to other women's stories about it, if your baby is going to flip, if it's going to work, it happens right away and it's actually not painful. It's like, oh bloop, and they just pop into the way they're supposed to go. I still think there's a good utility for it. But if the baby is not going anywhere and you try, oh my gosh, it felt like they were ripping him. It was terrible. I actually wonder if I could have been sensitized through that experience because ECVs are actually known as a trigger for Alloimmunization.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh my goodness.
Molly Sherwood:
I thought that could have maybe done it. But regardless, that failed, and so then we went on with scheduling the C-section. By this time, I was so done with being pregnant that I remember that they were trying to schedule the C-section date and I hit 39 weeks on a Sunday. They weren't going to do it on Sunday. They said, "Okay, the next available date is Tuesday," so I would've been like 39 and two. I just burst into tears because I was like, "No, I need to have this baby the moment I can have this baby." I just remember her being like, "Oh my gosh, hon. I'm sorry. Are you busy that day?"
Molly Sherwood:
'm like, "Obviously not. I can reschedule to have a baby, but it's just that I really want to have him now please." Anyway, they moved it up to Monday, so that was good.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh, that's nice. I remember that feeling with my full term babies as well. Just like, I can't do this another day.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. It is kind of, at least I've perceived it, as a little bit of a blessing to know when you're going to deliver in our scenarios, because I didn't go naturally into labor with any of my babies. It was kind of nice. Like okay, we know now when it's going to happen and it's going to be before 40 weeks, so I don't have to worry anymore.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh man.
Molly Sherwood:
Anyway.
Bethany Weathersby:
How did you feel going into the scheduled C-section, because that wasn't the original plan at all? Were you just at peace with it then?
Molly Sherwood:
Again, actually my intuition was finally the thing that consoled me because the ECV didn't work and I just had this gut feeling. I was like, "He's not going to move. He's stuck there." I felt like I had done the one thing that was in my control to do, which is to try that procedure and it didn't work. I was like, okay, I have to do this. Maybe I can have a VBAC, a vaginal birth after cesarean next time, because I knew I went to have more kids. I was like, all right, I'll just hope for that. We had the scheduled C-section. It was at 8:00 in the morning, which is nice. It's nice to have a morning one because otherwise you can't eat forever before.
Molly Sherwood:
If you have an afternoon one, you are just starving all day. It was at 8:00 AM. They had me there and prepped and everything. I was shaking like a leaf. Oh my gosh, I was so nervous. They took me back to the OR right on time, right at 8:00. My husband waited outside because I guess they liked to get you kind of prepped and nice and sedated and give you the local anesthetic, the spinal block. There was probably eight or 10 people there, and I think that's just standard. They always have people from the NICU waiting for every C-section delivery. The obstetrician was there, my OB, to do the surgery, a few nurses, two anesthesiologists were there.
Molly Sherwood:
First, they administered a local anesthetic injection that just kind of felt like a pinch. And that's I think similar to just getting your teeth numb at the dentist. They do that injection first.
Bethany Weathersby:
Into your spine, right?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. I guess. I guess it goes into your spine.
Bethany Weathersby:
This is on your back?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. Sorry, this is on my back. I'm sitting up now leaning against a nurse and they first gave me three little injections of that to locally numb the area, and then they do the full spinal block, which is different than the epidural that they do for a regular vaginal delivery. I was numb from the chest down, but it happened kind of slowly. It happened over the course of maybe... It felt like an eternity, but really probably like five minutes. I just remember they laid me back down, but I could still feel a little bit. I just kept shouting, "Don't start yet. Don't start yet," because I'm like, "Wait, I still feel my toes. Don't start."
Molly Sherwood:
But they seemed to know. I mean, soon after, I was definitely numb and I didn't feel pain. I should say, right before they started the procedure itself, then they brought my husband in and he came and he was sitting at my head. The procedure itself was just a lot of tugging, so much pulling. I felt it way up in my chest because they were like... I felt his head kind of coming down out of my chest, so I felt that tugging sensation way up there. It just felt very uncomfortable. It was very strange, but it wasn't painful.
Bethany Weathersby:
It is such a crazy and rare experience to have major surgery while awake. Like when does that ever happen besides this?
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah, and then raises newborn right after.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. Here, you're responsible for this newborn baby with all these needs, but good luck on your recovery.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. It is so true. And then they let him come in. Anyway, we went through that whole process. I had the spinal block. I remember I wanted pictures, even though I know it was so gross, of course. But the anesthetist resident I think took my phone and he took pictures of the whole thing.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing.
Molly Sherwood:
That was cool. I have some super gnarly pictures now. He came out. The pictures are like butt first. There's like a butt coming out.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh wow!
Molly Sherwood:
The procedure, all the prep and everything, including getting me numb started at exactly 8:00. He was born at 8:24, and my husband was there. He came out with the cord around his neck three times. Oh, and also a knot in the cord. It was tied in a knot. They were like, "No wonder he wasn't going to flip. He was stuck. He was suspended up there."
Bethany Weathersby:
He was tied. He was bound and tied up there.
Molly Sherwood:
He was. He was stuck up there. Anyway, it was all really as good as it could have gone. I remember feeling like a little bit confused when they laid him on me though. That was the weirdest part, because I'm like, I didn't really work for this. I just walked in and laid here and now this baby is on me. And that was kind of the weirdest part emotionally. You know what I mean?
Bethany Weathersby:
I felt that, yeah, both in my C-section. It felt like I hadn't gone through delivery like I thought it had to be. How is this baby here in just a few minutes, right?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. It was a little weird. It definitely kind of hindered, I think, my natural process of emotionally preparing and then seeing the baby. But all said and done, looking back, it was a great pregnancy. Isn't that funny to say?
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing. I'm so glad that you felt like you had a really good pregnancy.
Molly Sherwood:
I did, looking back. I mean, of course, I complained the whole time because...
Bethany Weathersby:
It's hard. It's so hard. Every pregnancy is tough.
Molly Sherwood:
Yes, I agree. It is.
Bethany Weathersby:
Okay, so let's talk about your next pregnancy because it took a shift. There was a shift there and a diagnosis. Start from the beginning.
Molly Sherwood:
Okay. That next pregnancy was with my second son. His name is Hayes. He's three now. I was pregnant with him. Ronan, my oldest, was maybe one and a half or so by this time. I don't know, I think I was eight weeks pregnant and I started to bleed. This is common for me. I went to the emergency room and they were checking him out and they brought just me back to the ultrasound room because I don't know why. That was a rule that they had for some reason in the emergency department. They couldn't tell me the results. The tech was not allowed to tell me. They did the scan. I didn't know if it was okay, but I had a sense that it was.
Molly Sherwood:
The doctor came in later and told both my husband and I that he was okay. There was a strong heartbeat and that was wonderful. But then they said, "Okay, but we drew your blood and you have a negative blood type, so we need to give you RhoGAM because..." We've talked about RhoGAM before, but RhoGAM is indicated after any pregnancy bleeding, not just at 28 weeks and after birth. The standard is 28 weeks and then after birth, but also if you have any bleeding events. That's a trigger for Alloimmunization, so you should get RhoGAM.
Bethany Weathersby:
Okay, really quick, I just wanted to explain the difference between anti-D and negative and positive blood type, because I think we've mentioned both and it can get a little confusing. But basically a negative blood type just means that there is no D antigen. You do not have the D antigen. RhoGAM can prevent your body from developing anti-D antibodies, but it can't prevent any of the other antibodies from developing. If you do have a negative blood type, definitely talk to your doctor about receiving RhoGAM.
Molly Sherwood:
I made them redo my blood test, and they thought I was crazy. I made them redo it because I was like, there's just no way. You must have gotten it mixed up. I made them redraw it and a nurse popped his head in the room. He just popped his head in, didn't even come all the way in, and he was like, "By the way, you're still O negative, but you have antibodies. You're positive for antibodies, so that's probably what you were thinking of."
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh my gosh!
Molly Sherwood:
And I was like, "What?" I had no idea what he meant. No idea.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. These two big bombs they're dropping on you, you have a different blood type than you were told supposedly, and then you have something called antibodies.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah, that's all I knew. Something called antibodies. I was so confused. I was certain that I had a positive blood type. Even I went back and checked my hospital records when I had Ronan, I had a positive blood type. But I did have him in another state where they were using a different lab. Anyway, they paged my doctor and the doctor called me and she was like, "Will you please consent to the RhoGAM until we can get it figured out?" And I said okay.
Molly Sherwood:
I did consent to the RhoGAM, and I remember they were about to administer it. My husband was sitting there and he suddenly got this look on his face. I was like, "What?" He just goes, "It's already too late." That's what he said. I still had no idea what he was talking about. But anyway, the doctor said, "Let's meet on Monday. We'll talk about it."
Bethany Weathersby:
You got the shot even though he said it's too late?
Molly Sherwood:
I got the RhoGAM shot. He said it was too late. To elaborate on that, he's right in that I already had antibodies. It's only true if I had already had anti-D antibodies because RhoGAM only prevents the development of anti-D. We didn't know at that time which antibodies I had. As it turns out, when I met with that doctor, I had anti-S antibodies, which are known to cause hemolytic disease of the fetus and not anti-D. She said, "You probably have a..." It's called a weak D phenotype." There's two kind of similar phenotypes like this. There's weak D and there's partial D. Basically if you have either of these, you can type O positive or O negative depending on the lab test used.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh my goodness!
Molly Sherwood:
It's so weird.
Bethany Weathersby:
That is so bizarre to me.
Molly Sherwood:
Right? I just didn't even know that it's a possibility. We figured out that I must have either weak D or partial D, and the way that weak and partial D works is weak D means that your body has all of the molecules that make up the D antigen, but they're just weakly genetically expressed. They're not super robust. Partial D means that you express them robustly, but you don't have all of the molecules that make up the D antigen. It's weird. I don't even remember. It's so weird.
Bethany Weathersby:
Which one did you have? I can't remember.
Molly Sherwood:
I went back and checked my records and I think I had weak D. Later in my third pregnancy, we sent off for blood testing because we just wanted to know. What ACOG recommends now for women who have weak or partial D is just to go ahead and still give RhoGAM.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes.
Molly Sherwood:
However, long story short, it may not actually be necessary for weak D because you still have all the molecules. Partial D, however, you don't have all the molecules. Some people think only RhoGAM for partial D, not for weak D. But to be safe, I kept getting RhoGAM after that.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes. I was just thinking, I would much rather get RhoGAM when I didn't need it than not receive the injection when I really did need it, and then suddenly have to deal with HDFN.
Molly Sherwood:
Exactly. I think it's more of a question in communities where RhoGAM is not so accessible and you need to kind of save. But the weak and partial D phenotype is not that common, but it's common enough. It happens in less than 1% of whites and about double that, like 2% in Blacks. I feel like it's worth sharing because it's something to have in mind if you ever type this way, you know?
Bethany Weathersby:
Yeah, yeah. You find out that you have anti-S antibodies. What was the plan then? It sounded like your husband knew more than anyone about that already?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. He knew more than... I don't know how he... I don't know. I mean, he is a clinician, but he's an oral surgeon. He doesn't do this, but maybe he just was able to think through some of the immunological processes that I didn't think about. But we had the meeting with my OB and that's when she sat down with us and told me then that I had anti-S. My titer was only one, which is great.
Bethany Weathersby:
And what's the critical titer for anti-S?
Molly Sherwood:
S is 16. All the antibodies other than Kell, the critical titer is 16 nowadays. I was very fortunate in that sense. My doctor said that she's going to send me to the high risk folks at the other hospital down the street just once I'm 18 weeks. It's probably going to be fine, probably fine, but she doesn't know. And I said, "What about other kids? Can I have more kids?" And she said, "Let's just see how this one goes."
Bethany Weathersby:
Was that scary to hear that?
Molly Sherwood:
Oh, that was so scary to hear that. I really wish that my doctor knew enough. She was great, but I wish she had said, "There are treatments available. And if you want more children, I will help you and you can have more children."
Bethany Weathersby:
I think that's a trauma that is often overlooked, this sudden realization that you might not be able to have more babies in the future like you were hoping. That is a great loss that I think people don't recognize looking in from the outside.
Molly Sherwood:
Yes, I think so too. I mean, there's so much fear of the unknown in your motherhood journey in general and not knowing what might be possible for you in the future and wondering if this is your last baby or if you will have this baby. Just the unknown, it can be torture.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yeah, that's overwhelming. Did you wait until 18 weeks to go see the maternal fetal nursing professional?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I waited 10 weeks for that appointment. That was excruciating. I work in medical research, and so I'm so lucky that I know how to look for resources. I was able to read a ton of articles.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh, that's great.
Molly Sherwood:
That's all I did every night, of course. I was so educated, overwhelmingly educated by then, that my plan by the time I went to my 18 week appointment was basically to crosscheck them and make sure they were telling me the stuff I already knew.
Bethany Weathersby:
I love that. I love that. I mean, it's just great that you already knew to do that. Going into my first appointment with my MFM, I was like, okay, they're going to tell me everything I need to know, but you seem to have a much more accurate expectation.
Molly Sherwood:
I know, but I think about like... I like reading medical literature and published studies and things like that, but so many women in our community don't know how to access that information and maybe don't enjoy reading it, which is understandable.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right.
Molly Sherwood:
I guess we have to do our best to share what we can in a way that's more appealing, right?
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes.
Molly Sherwood:
But I remember I went to the doctor and a friend joined me because, that was so nice, my husband was a resident at this time, through this whole pregnancy and then my next pregnancy. I mean, he was working so hard and it's to no fault of his own, but he was rarely there. I was looking back at my visits or my visit summaries of the notes that the doctors were taking before this recording so I could kind of refresh my memory and almost every single one, "Molly is unaccompanied today. Molly is unaccompanied today." I came to expect it. I know it wasn't his fault. But anyway, having a good friend with me there that day was really nice.
Bethany Weathersby:
In a way, that pregnancy just prepared you for your future pandemic baby, right?
Molly Sherwood:
That's true. Just being alone.
Bethany Weathersby:
Just do all of this alone.
Molly Sherwood:
Do this by yourself. Oh man! I had her with me, and she also was seeing these same doctors. She had a high risk twin pregnancy. She knew the doctors too. It was really cool. But those doctors came in and I have a theory about this. They see in my chart that says I had anxiety, which I do.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh man. I wonder if that's in every single pregnant woman's chart.
Molly Sherwood:
Right?
Bethany Weathersby:
Seriously.
Molly Sherwood:
I know.
Bethany Weathersby:
We hear so often.
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. I feel like sometimes my interactions with doctors were they immediately felt like they needed to kind of downplay or calm me down. That's not the type of information I wanted. I actually wanted a lot of information. I wanted to have a dynamic conversation. I did feel kind of thwarted by that. Because when they walked in the room that day, one of the first things that they said was, "We heard you like information. Here's the ACOG practice bulletin." I'm like, "First of all, I already have that. I'm literally holding it in my folder right now." But I'm like, "What do you mean you heard I like information?"
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. Like most women want to be in the dark?
Molly Sherwood:
I don't know. I'm like, thanks for indulging me by... I don't even know. I just didn't love that. And then I asked some questions and they ended up saying some things that were not consistent with the standard of care. Just things that made me on high alert. Like they said that it would not get more severe with subsequent pregnancies, which we all know is not true. But I had to choose my battles because I only had a titer of one. There was nothing I was going to do right now. We made a plan for getting my titers drawn every four weeks.
Molly Sherwood:
They would not agree to changing it to every two weeks in the third trimester, which is what's recommended, but they wouldn't do that. I decided, okay, I'll fight that later. I carried on in that pregnancy. My titer stayed at two the whole time. I had another big bleed at 26 weeks with him, and I was in the hospital for several days after that.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's so scary.
Molly Sherwood:
It was really scary. They thought it was like a partial placenta abruption possibly. I remember them saying, "If he were just a little bit older, we would just take him now." I knew that it was a pretty serious situation.
Bethany Weathersby:
Did they give you RhoGAM with that bleeding?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. I got RhoGAM again then. Yes, I did. I also got the steroid injections that they give when there's a threat of pre-term delivery.
Bethany Weathersby:
And what are those for? What are those steroids for?
Molly Sherwood:
I'm sure you've had them too, so you'll have to correct me, but they give them... They try, when possible, two doses I think one day apart or is it three days apart? Yeah, one day apart.
Bethany Weathersby:
I had them I think 24 hours apart.
Molly Sherwood:
Right. They're to help the baby's lungs mature should the baby need to be delivered. Actually during that time of being hospitalized, I asked them to do an MCA scan, even though my titers were low, and they just went ahead and did it for me.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh, that's great.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. That was awesome. And his MOM was one. I mean, it was perfect.
Bethany Weathersby:
The MCA scan was showing if the baby was anemic or not. An MOM of one is like perfect. It shows no fetal anemia. That's kind of what you want when you have an MCA scan, right, is a one.
Molly Sherwood:
That's the dream.
Bethany Weathersby:
You're living the dream.
Molly Sherwood:
I did eventually go home after that and we planned for an induction at 38 weeks, because that's what my OB and MFM wanted since I was Alloimmunized. I was happy that they were okay with that plan too.
Bethany Weathersby:
They were fine with an induced VBAC?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's pretty rare.
Molly Sherwood:
It is rare. I'm glad you brought that up. I had to find a doctor who was going to support that, especially being in a high risk pregnancy. We knew it was going to have to be induced. I mean, I've rarely heard of induced VBACs.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes, I know. When I mentioned that to my doctors, they were like, "Absolutely not."
Molly Sherwood:
I was lucky this doctor... She was kind of old school, my OB. She was very just seasoned, and she was okay with it. We planned for the induction at 38 weeks. His head was really low already. To start the induction, they just broke my water manually. That's how they did it, and it sent me into labor.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing. That's all you needed.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah. Just broke my water, 38 weeks. Once I started contracting, they did give a very small, they said the lowest dose, of Pitocin just to keep things rolling. But he was born in like five hours.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing.
Molly Sherwood:
It was a vaginal birth. Oh, I did end up having an epidural for him. The morning of his birth, they do a blood draw to do a crossmatch to make sure that they have blood available for me.
Bethany Weathersby:
You might be wondering what crossmatch means, and that's a great question. Women with red cell antibodies have to be very careful that when they receive a blood transfusion, the blood that is given to them is matched with their antibodies. If they have anti-Kell antibodies, they need to make sure that they are not given Kell antigen positive blood. And if they are, they're at high risk for a blood transfusion reaction, which can be dangerous.
Bethany Weathersby:
Before any medical procedure, Alloimmunized women should talk to their doctor about cross-matching the donor blood ahead of time just to make sure that that perfectly matched donor blood is on hand and ready before the procedure. That's what Molly's talking about is having that blood ready specifically for her in case she needs a blood transfusion.
Molly Sherwood:
That morning I tested positive for two antibodies.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh my goodness.
Molly Sherwood:
But they didn't tell me until after he was born. The doctor just came and sat at the foot of my bed and she said, "Well, now you have E antibodies too. We'll deal with that your next pregnancy." I was like, okay.
Bethany Weathersby:
Well, I'm so glad they waited until after the birth to tell you.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. That was good. You know what I didn't share? My husband's antigen status.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yeah, we forgot.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. I forgot about that. Since we needed to know if my son Hayes was going to have the S antigen, because that would tell us if he was going to be affected by my antibodies, to get him tested, what worked for us is my OB sent a lab order for him in his name to the nearest Labcorp. It was for the antigen phenotype test for S. He came back heterozygous, meaning he has one copy of the big S antigen and one copy of the little S, which means that our children have a 50% chance of inheriting the S and being affected.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. You didn't know if Hayes was antigen positive or negative?
Molly Sherwood:
No, I didn't know. They offered me an amnio. They didn't push it, but they said if I wanted to know, they would do it. And I said no. We couldn't do cffDNA testing because that's not available for the S antigen. We just decided to proceed as if he were affected. That's the way to go otherwise. He tested Coombs negative at birth. That's the test they do to figure out if they are having any hemolysis in their blood from the antibodies. He was negative.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's great. They never tested his antigen?
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah, they never tested his antigen status. They just did the DAT, the direct agglutination test, which is also sometimes called the Coombs test, which is supposed to be standard after a baby is born suspected with this disease. It just tells you if there are antibodies adhering to the baby's blood, which would mean that the baby is affected. He had the DAT or the Coombs test. He did have several heel pricks and everything. We were kind of monitoring him pretty closely while he was in the hospital. And weirdly enough, one of his pricks became infected.
Bethany Weathersby:
On his little foot?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes.
Bethany Weathersby:
Wow!
Molly Sherwood:
He was in the hospital for several days himself for an infection.
Bethany Weathersby:
I've never heard of that.
Molly Sherwood:
I know.
Bethany Weathersby:
Ever from a heel prick.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. I don't know. I don't know what to say except keep your baby's feet clean. I have no idea. But he was in the hospital for I think five days when he was like three weeks old. It's a blessing. He was perfectly healthy.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing. He didn't need any like bilirubin lights?
Molly Sherwood:
Nope. No intervention at all. Nothing.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's so wonderful.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. It really is.
Bethany Weathersby:
Can I go back and ask you a question about the amniocentesis?
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah.
Bethany Weathersby:
Why did you not want to have the amniocentesis?
Molly Sherwood:
Well, amnios come with a very slight risk of miscarriage, of injury to the baby, and they also can increase the antibody response in a mom's body. For those reasons, it just seemed like a risk that we didn't want to take. It's something we would have dealt with had my titers gotten very high and it was looking like we were getting to do an IUT and we needed to know, then that's very critical at that point. But the doctor also explained those risks to me and he said, "It's really up to you," and so I said, "Let's just not do it."
Bethany Weathersby:
Yeah, that's great. I think a lot of women feel the same way about the amnio. Okay, Molly, let's talk about your second sensitized pregnancy, which is your third living baby. Maybe I shouldn't say that.
Molly Sherwood:
No, that's perfectly accurate.
Bethany Weathersby:
Is that okay?
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah, that's perfectly accurate.
Bethany Weathersby:
How did that pregnancy go? Start from the beginning again, and this time you are going into it knowing you have not only anti-S, but now you have this anti-E to deal with it.
Molly Sherwood:
I didn't know my titer either going into it.
Bethany Weathersby:
Well, that's scary. You didn't know your husband's antigen status?
Molly Sherwood:
No, I didn't know. It was weird because we kind of knew what we were in for this time. It felt really daunting. I did schedule a preconception appointment for that reason.
Bethany Weathersby:
Who was that with?
Molly Sherwood:
That was with the MFMs. Where we were living, there's like a big university hospital, which is also where my husband was working, and they have a high risk clinic of eight maternal fetal medicine doctors. I requested a preconception visit. I did feel kind of weird doing it. I felt like they thought I was weird.
Bethany Weathersby:
I mean, I thought that too when I scheduled mine.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah. I know, but I'm still glad I did it.
Bethany Weathersby:
I mean, you like information, right?
Molly Sherwood:
I like information. Don't they know this now?
Bethany Weathersby:
You're the girl who likes information.
Molly Sherwood:
I like information. Imagine. I went in and I just kind of asked him to lay out the treatment plan. There were a couple things. He really didn't want... Again, did not want to increase the tighter draws in my third trimester.
Bethany Weathersby:
I wonder why. Did say like, "This is the reason why we don't want to..."
Molly Sherwood:
He just said it's not something that has ever had an impact with them. They've never seen it occur or changed that fast that it would've been missed. That's what he said, which we know in our work is actually not true.
Bethany Weathersby:
Here at the foundation, we see a lot of patients who are concerned about whether they are receiving the right monitoring. As we know, fetal anemia can only be treated if it is detected and if it's detected in time to treat. We love it when care providers are proactive with their monitoring. Something we encourage patients to ask their doctors is, what are the risks of monitoring more, and what are the risks of not monitoring enough? The more information you have, the better decisions you can make about your care. Just speak up if you're uneasy about anything and ask your doctor those questions.
Molly Sherwood:
I thought, well, maybe my title will jump anyway and it won't matter, or maybe it'll rise and I can advocate for it. But I did say I wanted antenatal testing starting at 32 weeks, which is also what's recommended, but it's not universally incorporated. That is just doing non-stress test and biophysical profiles weekly starting at 32 weeks. Those are like where you see the mom laying on a bed and there's like a couple big belts with monitors strapped around her and then you get to hear the baby's movements and heartbeat. I really liked those actually. It was so kind of just special time just listening to their heartbeat.
Bethany Weathersby:
I liked it too. It's reassuring, especially there at the end when you're like, oh, I can't imagine if something went wrong now. We're so close. Yeah, just that weekly check-in was always encouraging.
Molly Sherwood:
That was really nice. Yeah, I did really appreciate that. I was happy that we got that in the plan. I will always pat myself on the back for asking him to write the plan in my notes from that day.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes, good idea.
Molly Sherwood:
Because then later when it was ever contradicted, I was like, oh, go back and check the notes.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes. I did not think to do that during my preconception appointment. That's a great tip.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah, I was glad I did that. That really helped. Flash forward, I got pregnant again, cried all day, because I knew... I wanted it. Of course, we wanted it, but I just knew what was ahead.
Bethany Weathersby:
You're like gearing up kind of emotionally.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah. I didn't know what to expect. You know what I forgot to say? During that preconception appointment, they placed the lab order for my husband to get antigen tested for the E, and he came back homozygous for the big E, which meant that all of our babies would be affected by E at least, and then 50/50 by the S.
Bethany Weathersby:
Was that really disappointing?
Molly Sherwood:
It was, but also in a weird way, I was kind of relieved to just know. I was like, okay, this is officially what we're dealing with.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. Did they check your titer then for E?
Molly Sherwood:
No, they didn't. I wish they did, but they...
Bethany Weathersby:
I wish they did too because then there's so much... I would've been really fearful just not knowing exactly what level of risk we're dealing with.
Molly Sherwood:
I know. I don't think I succeeded in excellent patient advocacy. I really don't. I think I could have pushed more on some things and I want other women to do better than I did. I'm so glad my babies are all okay, of course, which is wonderful, but I could have been more vocal in a respectful way.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's so hard balance in the moment though.
Molly Sherwood:
Oh my gosh, so much. I was so nervous. I was so nervous. They kind of flying in and they sit there and they're like, "So why are we here today basically?" It was a little daunting, but hopefully other women listening can just take it to heart that it's okay to be respectfully direct.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes.
Molly Sherwood:
Anyway, I was pregnant with him and so sick. So much happened during that pregnancy. I mean, I had kidney stones. I thought I was in labor. It was kidney stones. That was terrible. I needed iron infusion...
Bethany Weathersby:
How far along were you when you had that, the kidney stones?
Molly Sherwood:
I was 26 weeks then, which is when I also bled with Hayes. I thought, "I'm going to labor. I'm going to have him." But it was kidney stones, which I decided was actually from eating way too many TUMS. I'm serious. I had so much TUMS.
Bethany Weathersby:
Calcium or something?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. That's my theory.
Bethany Weathersby:
But the heartburn is so bad.
Molly Sherwood:
It's so bad.
Bethany Weathersby:
It's debilitating sometimes.
Molly Sherwood:
They told me to stop with the TUMS and I was like, "I can't. Sorry."
Bethany Weathersby:
What did you do?
Molly Sherwood:
The heartburn is so bad. The nausea was so bad. I was on Zofran all the time. I passed out in a grocery store parking lot with my two boys because I had such terrible blood pressure issues. Somebody had to rush up and carry that into the car and get me to the car. It was crazy. I had iron infusions myself because I was severely anemic. The worst, the hardest part of it all was I was bleeding again. I was maybe seven weeks along with him and I was on a conference call and I started to have this stabbing pain. It was just a terrible searing pain. I finished the call and sat there for a little bit and eventually stood up and just started bleeding.
Molly Sherwood:
I mean, profusely bleeding. I was alone. I did drive myself to the emergency room and they took me back for an ultrasound. Connor was actually... I was able to get a hold of one of his co-residents who told him to... He was in the middle of a surgery. He left the surgery and came and sat with me during the ultrasound, which is just a couple floors below where he was. There was so much blood. I mean, Bethany, I still can picture hearing it like drip on the floor.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's terrible. Did you think this baby is gone or didn't make it?
Molly Sherwood:
Definitely. They actually found a heartbeat, but they said it was very, very slow. They said it was too slow and that it was on its way to stopping. They said I would probably pass the pregnancy that night. I mean, I've never seen so much blood. They wanted to admit me for the bleeding, but we decided that I wanted to go home. They sent me home with tons of pads to lay on and just told me to wait for the baby to pass. They offered me a D&C.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh my goodness. I remember.
Molly Sherwood:
If I wanted to just have the pregnancy end that day. A D&C is like a... I had it with my miscarriage. What do they call it? A dilation and curettage. They sort of dilate your cervix and just kind of scoop out the area and clean it out. I declined it. My husband was devastated. I mean, he was just so sad. But I kind of thought weirdly, I was like, I still feel really pregnant. I still feel pregnant. I asked them to draw my HCG levels, like pregnancy levels, that day so that we could check them later to see if they were still rising because that'd be reassuring. My bleeding finally slowed down that night and eventually stopped. I called them and I was like, "My bleeding stopped." They really didn't think that I had not passed the baby.
Molly Sherwood:
I asked to come back in for another blood draw and the levels were rising. I was still pregnant, but I was afraid. I wouldn't leave the house for a couple weeks. I wouldn't leave the house because I thought I would just lose him instantly. I just thought if I stood up and walked around. I finally left the house with a friend. I went to Costco. I was walking through Costco and there was a drip. I guess there was water dripping from the ceiling and it dripped on my leg. I thought I was bleeding and I just froze there. I just had a complete...
Bethany Weathersby:
Ugh! Just probably it's like an adrenaline surge.
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. I thought for sure this was it, but it wasn't. Anyway, I had a few more bleeds that pregnancy, but none were as bad as the first.
Bethany Weathersby:
Were they doing ultrasounds?
Molly Sherwood:
They were doing ultrasounds.
Bethany Weathersby:
And the heartbeat was okay?
Molly Sherwood:
The heartbeat was fine. We did ultrasound one week after the big bleed and his heartbeat was back up to being great. He was good.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing.
Molly Sherwood:
It was amazing. It was truly a miracle. The nurse cried. I mean, so many women came in and hugged me. It was awesome.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's so sweet.
Molly Sherwood:
I had a couple more bleeds that pregnancy that were less severe, but I just kept having this feeling like the baby was in a bad environment. I was doing a bad job. Between the Alloimmunization and all the bleeding, I just felt that way so strongly. I just was like, he shouldn't even be in here anymore. I remember just like, oh my gosh, when can we get him out? The doctor was like, "Just get to the next milestone. Don't even think about 38 weeks. Let's think about 24 weeks. Let's think about 26 weeks." That kind of helped. I did really appreciate that advice. I think that was really helpful for me to piece out the milestones instead of imagining getting all the way to the end. It was just too much to imagine.
Bethany Weathersby:
That is I think a common feeling that Alloimmunized women have is like, "I am growing and sustaining this baby, this life, but I'm also it feels like trying to destroy it. I'm the lifeline, but also I'm putting this baby in danger just by this baby being inside me." It's a terrible feeling. It's really scary.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah, it really is. It can be all consuming sometimes. It's hard when you don't have a community in your life personally who understand it, because you feel like you need to first justify extensively why you're feeling this way because people don't understand. It can also be kind of isolating.
Bethany Weathersby:
For sure.
Molly Sherwood:
Let's see, where were we? I decided around this time, like around maybe halfway through my pregnancy, that I wanted something that I could maybe control, because I couldn't control anything else.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. Yes.
Molly Sherwood:
I mean, Lord, I just can't even keep my TUMS from making kidney stones. I decided I wanted to try no pain management, even though I knew I was going to be doing another induced VBAC. I think I shared about that more in the delivery episode, so I won't harp on it too much. But by this time, my titers were only four and two, which is great.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh yes. I forgot to ask, what were your anti-E titers? Did you say that during this pregnancy?
Molly Sherwood:
The highest they got was two. The S was four. The E was two. They were just hanging out.
Bethany Weathersby:
Even after all of that bleeding?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes.
Bethany Weathersby:
With a homozygous partner?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's crazy.
Molly Sherwood:
I mean, that's so weird about this disease, there's no good explanation for why it can be so severe or so not severe, which is all the more reason to just prepare appropriately. That was so weird. I did get to have my non-stress test and my biophysical profiles starting at 32 weeks. He was also growth restricted. He was very small, so that was concerning too for the doctors. I don't know what concerned them more really, the Alloimmunization or the growth restriction. Anyway, I had a scheduled induction at 38 weeks. We did this induction by... They did not want to break my water this time. This is a different hospital. They felt like his head was not low enough.
Molly Sherwood:
The risk of having your water manually broken when the baby's head is not low enough is that the cord gets slip in instead, and then you could have a cord prolapse and that would be a critical situation. They decided they wanted to just start with Pitocin first. And then when he was low enough, then we would break the water. That's what we did. The whole thing start to finish again was like four and a half hours and I was able to do it without an epidural. And that accomplishment was huge. I will always be grateful that I was able to have that redeeming moment. That was really critical to my...
Bethany Weathersby:
That's wonderful that they, I guess, respected your wishes. That's what I was thinking. Did they allow you to be in charge of that part, or did they push pain management on you?
Molly Sherwood:
No, they were really... By the time it's your third, they kind of perceive you as being a more seasoned mom. I do wish that the same respect was given to all moms, but the seasoned mom thing helped because I was like, "I know what my body's going to do. I know it's going to be fast. I know I'll probably deliver within an hour of my water breaking or whatever." I did ask, my only request of the team was to not offer me pain management. That's it, which I think is a very... I just try to keep things reasonable so that it's not overwhelming and it doesn't seem demanding. They totally respected that and that's all I need. I don't want them dangling an epidural in my face. I probably wouldn't have done it.
Bethany Weathersby:
Well, if you need it, you are capable of asking for it.
Molly Sherwood:
Yes, exactly. Exactly. If I desperately need that, I can will ask.
Bethany Weathersby:
Of course.
Molly Sherwood:
That was perfect. It really was great, and they were very in tune with what I was asking for and what I was saying I needed, like where I needed my body to be and where I needed to move, or whatever. They were very supportive of that. That team was awesome.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's so good. Remember when you said with your C-section, when they handed you Ronan, you were like, "How is this baby here?" Or it just felt odd, I guess. Did it feel the same with Baby Grey?
Molly Sherwood:
It felt better. But I will say with all of my births, I never had that moment that women talk about of like, oh my gosh, when they lay them on your chest and you just feel overwhelmed with love. I mean, I felt happy. It was more shock. And then, of course, then the guilt sets in of like, why didn't I feel that? Why didn't I feel the way I was supposed to feel? But it grew very quickly. Even with the two boys, my two Allo boys, my husband could only be off work the day of the delivery, and then I was in the hospital alone.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh man.
Molly Sherwood:
I know, which sounds sad, but I was used to it by then. And also I kind of liked the one-on-one time. I just laid there and snuggled with him. That was really a special part for me.
Bethany Weathersby:
Did you feel immense relief when he was born after going through all of that with him?
Molly Sherwood:
Yes, I did. I just felt like we can better assess him now and do whatever he needs. I can be his advocate. I felt ready. I was ready to speak for him, but the burden of doing it within my body was gone. That was wonderful. He came out very quiet. He was acting a little strange. I don't know why. He didn't cry. He was just odd. He wouldn't cry. I don't know. They were just worried. He wasn't very enthusiastic about being born, I guess. I don't know. They kept laying him on me and they were like, "Shake him," trying to get me to stimulate him. But by this time, I had not delivered my placenta, and I should have by now.
Molly Sherwood:
I started to hemorrhage again. By this time, the doctors were trying to manually remove my placenta, which was worse than the entire unmedicated labor.
Bethany Weathersby:
Because you're still unmedicated while they're doing that procedure, I guess.
Molly Sherwood:
It was terrible. The placenta was stuck up there and they were just... I was screaming. I just asked if they would stop. I was crying, and I still had Grey on me. His name is Grey.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yeah, sorry.
Molly Sherwood:
I forgot to say that, but they're trying to tell me to be happy and jiggle him and I'm like in excruciating... Eventually Connor, my husband, was like, "Do you want me to hold him?" I was like, "Yes, please." He ended up going to the step-down NICU for I think like eight or 10 hours. But I was okay with that because I ended up having to have an emergency D&C and they put me under for that. I will say, I did not need a blood transfusion. Just barely. I was so lucky I didn't. I actually credit that to getting my iron infusions during my pregnancy so that I wasn't anemic anymore. I really think that's the only thing that kept me from needing a blood transfusion.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh my goodness. Really quick, that anemia that you experienced during pregnancy had nothing to do with your antibodies, right?
Molly Sherwood:
No. I'm glad you said that. Nope, totally unrelated. Just another pregnancy thing, but it's super common in many pregnant women. I would really encourage... I know for you, Bethany, you probably needed iron infusions too.
Bethany Weathersby:
I should have. I was very anemic. I guess it just wasn't a priority or something. But then after the births, I was even more anemic and I felt terrible. I wish that we had been more proactive with that during the pregnancy.
Molly Sherwood:
It's understandable that you didn't. Classic mother. You're like, "Let me just take care of this baby. I'm not going to attend to myself." But I do. I don't have proof of this. I don't have any literature on it, but it does seem to make sense to me that if it's something you need and you're an Alloimmunized mom and you want to avoid blood transfusion whenever possible, I think that making sure that your anemia is under control yourself is critical.
Bethany Weathersby:
I'm so glad you could avoid a blood transfusion after all that.
Molly Sherwood:
That was awesome. After I came to and he was released from the NICU evaluation, we started aggressively checking his bilirubin and we did the cord blood testing to run his cbc. We did the Coombs test to see if he had antibodies attaching to his red blood cells, and he was Coombs negative.
Bethany Weathersby:
That's amazing.
Molly Sherwood:
Literally, Bethany, it doesn't make sense because my husband was homozygous for E. I have no idea. But we agreed with the team that we would treat him as if he were affected because it didn't make sense otherwise. I was okay with that. I didn't push for more testing to do his antigen status because we agreed to just treat him as if he were affected. I was fine with that plan. His bili was pretty high. It was right on the border for a while, right on the border of requiring phototherapy. It peaked on day eight.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh, wow! That does sound like hemolytic jaundice, doesn't it?
Molly Sherwood:
It does. I still remember I had a conference call with you, Bethany, and I was holding him and you were like, "That baby is yellow." And he was. He was yellow.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes.
Molly Sherwood:
I want to point that out because many of the hemolytic processes, the symptoms and the jaundice don't show up until later, like a delayed set, and his was too. It's just important to keep checking until you notice that it's truly declining.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. Those blood tests are so important.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah, so important. I'm glad that the team was able to just... They were really open to just following whatever guidelines we needed. We tested frequently until... I think it took about a month actually to be totally clear and feel like levels were stabilizing. But again, happy, healthy one and a half year old now.
Bethany Weathersby:
And how old is Hayes? I think you already said...
Molly Sherwood:
Greyson is one and a half. Hayes is a little over three now, and Ronan is five.
Bethany Weathersby:
Oh, so sweet.
Molly Sherwood:
They're just wonderful, and I am so lucky, so lucky yo have them.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes. I mean, you went through a lot. That's a lot to go through. Quick question, during all of those pregnancies, how did you feel mentally and emotionally?
Molly Sherwood:
I do think I was very affected, especially retelling it. I have never told this story start to finish until today, and never with a listening ear like you, because telling it to somebody else, it probably doesn't ring true or it doesn't carry the same weight with somebody else, I think. I just felt very misunderstood through my whole pregnancies. I felt like my immediate community didn't really know what I needed and didn't understand what was on my mind day to day. I still feel a little bit of a traumatic response when I think about being pregnant in general.
Molly Sherwood:
We kind of decided that I think we're going to be done after this. I think I do feel really done for many reasons, but certainly it would be silly to say this has nothing to do with it.
Bethany Weathersby:
I think that isolation is a very common feeling. I keep saying like, "That's a common feeling with Allo moms," but it does. It does resonate so much because it's a rare disease. Most women don't know anyone in their day to day life, their real life who has experienced a pregnancy like this. And then also just in general, resources for mental health and emotional health are not available for women like they should be, especially in a high risk pregnancy situation.
Molly Sherwood:
I agree. I even expect myself to feel totally fine and healed after my pregnancies are over. Like, oh, it's done now. No, probably not. Probably have some more work to do.
Bethany Weathersby:
Yes. To feel out of control as a parent and not feel like we can protect our child is kind of a mother's worst nightmare.
Molly Sherwood:
Yes. It's our ultimate responsibility.
Bethany Weathersby:
It is.
Molly Sherwood:
And if you feel like you're not doing that well and it's completely out of your control, it's a really difficult feeling.
Bethany Weathersby:
It really affects your life. Like you said, even after it's over and your children are here and healthy, you're still dealing with the fallout from that, I think.
Molly Sherwood:
I think so too. I think that's why our community is so special, because many of us stick around even when it's not affecting us anymore. We're just here to help and support other women. It's healing too to just see other people doing things and experiencing things or doing better than we did.
Bethany Weathersby:
I always admire women so much when they are courageous enough to have another baby after first being diagnosed and to try again. That is so incredible to me to see that strength. There's also courage in deciding that you're not willing to take on that risk for your child and say, "Okay, I'm deciding that we're not going to take that on again. We're closing that chapter." I think that takes a lot of courage too.
Molly Sherwood:
Yeah. I think the important thing in either scenario is that the decision is yours. It's not anybody else's.
Bethany Weathersby:
Do you have any advice for other women experiencing an Alloimmunized pregnancy?
Molly Sherwood:
I'm taking my own advice listening to just our conversations today and I feel like it's important to share that regardless of your titer, whatever feels big to you is big. You don't have to compare it to somebody else's experience. I think being humble and aware of your relative good fortune, of course, if you should have it, is important. But it's still okay to feel all of the things. I do think that our group, our support network within the foundation is critical and the resources are critical. They're totally wide open to every woman in every type of Allo circumstance.
Molly Sherwood:
I also think that it's important regardless of the intensity of your pregnancy and what interventions are required that you stay committed to the plan that you make for yourself. Try your best to be educated in your plan and then be dedicated to it. Make a plan. I feel personally that that can bring comfort to have a plan and don't be afraid to just directly communicate it.
Bethany Weathersby:
Right. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it's hard to be vulnerable, but you did such a great job. I think women are really going to enjoy listening and relate to a lot of the things that you experienced.
Molly Sherwood:
I hope so. I hope so. Overall, it was obviously just a very wonderful experience. I have my boys and I wish that for everybody.
Bethany Weathersby:
Thanks again to Molly for being so open and vulnerable in sharing her experience. I know that's hard to be vulnerable sometimes, and we appreciate her so much. If you, your partner, or someone close to you has antibodies in their pregnancy, we are here for you. You're not alone. We have a great resource library on our website at allohopefoundation.org. That's allo, spelled A-L-L-O, hopefoundation.org. Thanks for listening.
Molly Sherwood:
The Allo Podcast is a production of the Allo Hope Foundation. It was researched and written by Bethany Weathersby and me, Molly Sherwood. It is produced and edited by CJ Housh and Eric Hurst of Media Club. The Allo Podcast is sponsored by Janssen Pharmaceutical Companies of Johnson & Johnson.